Dreaming in the Real
After Dworkin left, David’s attention went to the magical fork in his hand. David
sighed, said nothing and headed immediately to the armory in the Palace. There he met with one of the chamberlains in charge of the Armory. “May I help you my Lord?” The Chamberlain said.
David raised the large fork he was holding and offered a quizzacle look in response.
Without a hint of surprise on the chamberlain’s face, he said, “That’s a large fork.”
David nodded, “Yes and if it was a small fork at least it would be useful.” With that, the magic in the fork responded and the fork transformed into a useful table fork that one could find almost on any shadow. This caught David with a bit of surprise.“It’s a knife!” David exclaimed. And the fork transformed itself into a common kitchen knife. “No! It’s a butter knife!” With these words the knife then transformed itself into a
butter knife. “ReallY! It’s a bobby pin!” The butterknife turned into a bobby pin. “But really, it’s a short sword!” And with those words, the pin turned into a shortsword. “It’s a goblet! It’s a paper weight! It’s a belt buckle! It’s a bed pan, It’s a helmet! It’s a buckler!” With each word, the item transformed.
“Will that be all sir?” The chamberlain asked. His face had changed from attentive to complete boredom.
“Oh! Sorry about that. I had no idea this thing actually had any uses. Marvelous isn’t it?” David said.
“Fascinating. Will that be all my Lord? I have some other more urgent needs to attend to. May I have my leave?”
“Oh, yes. Yes of course. Sorry to bother you.”
The Chamberlain rolled his eyes, and turned around and went back to his normal work.
“It’s a locker lock! A ping pong paddle! It’s a letter opener! It’s a fishing rod!”
The Chamberlain stopped in his tracks, turned around and in a rather loud voice said, “My
Lord, had it occured to you that you could activate the magic by thought?” There was a bitter tone to the Chamberlain’s voice. And David suddenly felt a little stupid.
“Well. No. That didn’t occur to me,” David said. And with that David turned to leave
the armory with his fishing rod. In the corridor David held his fishing rod and thought, “It’s a pig.” But nothing happened. HE then thought, “It’s a small cat.” Still nothing happened. “IT’s a freaking monkey!” Nothing.
“YOU ARE A FUCKING PIG!” David shouted. Nothing happened to the rod.
But Fiona was there, with a very stern look upon her face. “I beg your Pardon?” She asked, her eyes squinted like a school teacher.
“Not you Fiona! I was talking to my fork, er my fishing rod. You see it is magical, made by Dworkin you know. Quite fascinating. Um. Why are you looking at me like that. I said i was sorry.”
“Actually you never did say sorry. Until now. Enjoy your…toy.” With that Fiona turned to leave.
David watched Fiona go, and waited till she was far enough down the hall that she could
not hear him. “You are a god damn elephant.” he whispered.
Fiona stopped, she stretched her neck. Surely she couldn’t of heard him. Could she? Suddenly, she said in a louder voice than David thought she could muster. “It can’t make living things you idiot.” She then continued down the hall.
“Thank you,” David whispered.
“You’re welcome,” Fiona said as her footsteps echoed down the hall.
David waited a lot longer than he thought he needed to. Then he thought, “You are a
shortsword.” And with that, the rod transformed into a short blade, which David promptly put back in its scabbard. He smiled and breathed deeply. The chamberlain had peeked his head out of the armoury door, and David nodded to the man before he disappeared back into the room.
Now if only there was a way to turn off the glow on his armour.
Just then his armour stopped glowing.
David blinked. This was easy! David thought that his armour should glow again. And indeed his armour began to glow. “You are black armour with spikes! You are scale armour! You are a bath robe! You are a Turtle neck sweater!”
This continued for some time, until finally David gave up. Try as he might, the armour never did anything else but glow or not glow.